you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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