Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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