I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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