So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
