that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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