I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
