There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
