he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
