porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
