Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
