First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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