Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
