I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
