tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
