I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
