I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
