Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
