come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i can't believe i had my finger in that
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
