Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
