she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
