It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
