In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
