he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
