dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
