He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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