I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
