i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
