i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
