the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She told me I should be a condom model.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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