we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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