wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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