He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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