apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
