either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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