we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
