If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
