nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
