I hate your face
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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