Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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