he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
