honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
