Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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