So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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