Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
