you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
