So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
