Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
