I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
