I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
