Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
